STAY LONG at 3/6/2009 close

For the 72-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Continue to hold Ultrabull fund or SSO shares)

I will be out of town for at least a week, so I'm guessing I will not be able to post any predictions until Wednesday the 11th. Starting Monday 3/9/2009, any hypothetical investment dollars will be safely stowed in a money market account.

Here's the latest stats.

	31 wins out of 58 attempts = 53% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	20%	N/A
	2009 YTD	-3.2%	N/A
	20 days	-19.8%	11.8%
	10 days	-14.7%	3.6%
	5 days	-12.0%	1.6%
	1 day	8.29%	0.41%

I'll probably be doing some major brain surgery on the Forecast Monkey soon, at which time we may reset our stats and start afresh.

Again, these predictions are for entertainment purposes only. Please don't make real-life trades based on this silly speculative nonsense.

BUY LONG at 3/5/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Sell any other holdings and buy Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Alas, due to technical difficulties, I was not able to make a prediction yesterday. For performance purposes, we assume that any hypothetical investors stuck with the last prediction made (sell short), and thus made out like bandits today.

No stats today. Maybe tomorrow.

STAY LONG at 3/2/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Continue to hold Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by dumping a gallon of saline into the Forecast Monkey's IV drip, then tickling him until he had "an accident" and finally measuring the viscosity of his evacuated fluids.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	30 wins out of 54 attempts = 56% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	30%	N/A
	2009 YTD	4.9%	N/A
	20 days	-18.7%	15.7%
	10 days	-19.7%	5.7%
	5 days	-5.5%	2.9%
	1 day	-4.67%	0.57%

I am pleased to report the Forecast Monkey continues his impressive losing streak, and by today's close, I am hoping he will be in the negative for 2009. We had a long string of disappointments early this year as the Forecast Monkey inexplicably won over and over again, but the Forecast Monkey seems to be finally showing potential as the losing machine we knew he could be.

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

STAY LONG at 2/27/2009 close

For the 72-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Continue to hold Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by using the Forecast Monkey's body cavities for drug smuggling, then weighing the piles of cash that we got for our efforts.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	30 wins out of 53 attempts = 57% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	36%	N/A
	2009 YTD	10.0%	N/A
	20 days	-9.0%	16.7%
	10 days	-16.1%	6.3%
	5 days	-3.1%	3.1%
	1 day	-3.14%	0.67%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

STAY LONG at 2/26/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Continue to hold Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by forcing the Forecast Monkey to perform degrading acts for an immature variety show, and measuring the resulting drop in his self-esteem.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	30 wins out of 52 attempts = 58% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	40%	N/A
	2009 YTD	13.6%	N/A
	20 days	-12.4%	17.5%
	10 days	-11.9%	6.8%
	5 days	-2.2%	3.2%
	1 day	2.08%	0.75%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

BUY LONG at 2/25/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Sell any other holdings and buy Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by recording how much weight Grandma lost after the Forecast Monkey stole her taser and used it on her.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	29 wins out of 51 attempts = 57% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	37%	N/A
	2009 YTD	11.2%	N/A
	20 days	-16.0%	18.5%
	10 days	-5.2%	7.3%
	5 days	-4.4%	3.3%
	1 day	7.76%	0.72%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

STAY LONG at 2/23/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Continue to hold Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by observing the Forecast Monkey's color changes after feeding him some white powder that came in an envelope with a fan letter from a trader that lost his shirt following these predictions.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	28 wins out of 49 attempts = 57% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	37%	N/A
	2009 YTD	11.0%	N/A
	20 days	-16.4%	21.0%
	10 days	-10.9%	8.1%
	5 days	-15.0%	4.0%
	1 day	-2.23%	0.73%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

STAY LONG at 2/20/2009 close

For the 72-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Continue to hold Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Stats will be updated next time.

STAY LONG at 2/19/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Continue to hold Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by carefully measuring how high the Forecast Monkey jumped when startled by firecrackers under his bed.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	28 wins out of 47 attempts = 60% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	43%	N/A
	2009 YTD	16.1%	N/A
	20 days	-1.9%	23.5%
	10 days	-2.5%	8.9%
	5 days	-9.9%	4.8%
	1 day	-0.24%	0.86%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

STAY LONG at 2/18/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Continue to hold Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by having the Forecast Monkey flip a coin for hours, then comparing the number of heads to the number of tails.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	28 wins out of 46 attempts = 61% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	44%	N/A
	2009 YTD	16.4%	N/A
	20 days	8.7%	24.4%
	10 days	-5.3%	9.2%
	5 days	-0.9%	5.2%
	1 day	-9.09%	0.88%

As you can see, yesterday erased a lot of gains the Forecast Monkey predictions accidentally made lately. Anyone dumb enough to follow his advice has been appropriately devastated.

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

STAY LONG at 2/17/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Continue to hold Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by giving the Forecast Monkey a box of crayons and letting him loose in a room full of stock charts.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

28 wins out of 45 attempts = 62% success rate
Timespan	Return	Average
Total	58%	N/A
2009 YTD	28.0%	N/A
20 days	21.2%	25.0%
10 days	4.0%	9.6%
5 days	8.7%	5.3%
1 day	-1.99%	1.10%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

STAY LONG at 2/13/2009 close

For the 72-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Continue to hold Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by putting the Forecast Monkey in a sensory deprivation chamber and measuring the length of time before he started having hallucinations.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	28 wins out of 44 attempts = 64% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	61%	N/A
	2009 YTD	30.6%	N/A
	20 days	24.0%	25.2%
	10 days	1.3%	9.8%
	5 days	4.8%	5.2%
	1 day	-0.39%	1.17%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

BUY LONG at 2/12/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Sell any other holdings and buy Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by observing the Forecast Monkey's behavior changes after he was forced to eat a diet consisting of nothing but KFC chicken for a week.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	28 wins out of 43 attempts = 65% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	62%	N/A
	2009 YTD	31.1%	N/A
	20 days	32.8%	25.3%
	10 days	8.4%	10.1%
	5 days	8.7%	5.2%
	1 day	1.71%	1.21%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

BUY LONG at 2/10/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Sell any other holdings and buy Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by observing the Forecast Monkey as he tried to learn to play Tiddlywinks.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	26 wins out of 41 attempts = 63% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	45%	N/A
	2009 YTD	17.4%	N/A
	20 days	13.8%	24.7%
	10 days	-11.4%	10.4%
	5 days	-4.5%	5.1%
	1 day	-0.33%	0.99%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

BUY LONG at 2/4/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Sell any other holdings and buy Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by pumping the Forecast Monkey full of estrogen and measuring the volume of his resulting lactation.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

24 wins out of 37 attempts = 65% success rate
Timespan	Return	Average
Total	47%	N/A
2009 YTD	19.1%	N/A
20 days	29.9%	25.2%
10 days	0.6%	13.2%
5 days	-8.2%	6.1%
1 day	-3.13%	1.13%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

STAY SHORT at 2/3/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says SELL the S&P500 (Continue to hold Ultrabear fund or SDS shares).

Today's prediction was reached by renting out the Forecast Monkey as toddler birthday entertainment, and counting the resulting scratches and bruises found on all parties.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	24 wins out of 36 attempts = 67% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	52%	N/A
	2009 YTD	22.9%	N/A
	20 days	35.2%	24.9%
	10 days	14.8%	13.7%
	5 days	-7.2%	6.5%
	1 day	-0.16%	1.25%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

SELL SHORT at 2/2/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says SELL the S&P500 (Sell any other holdings and buy Ultrabear fund or SDS shares).

Today's prediction was reached by teaching the Forecast Monkey to tap dance and measuring the value of his collected tips after 24 straight hours of dancing on a street corner.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

24 wins out of 35 attempts = 69% success rate
Timespan	Return	Average
Total	52%	N/A
2009 YTD	23.1%	N/A
20 days	26.9%	24.2%
10 days	16.5%	13.6%
5 days	-8.1%	6.9%
1 day	-4.50%	1.29%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

STAY LONG at 1/30/2009 close

For the 72-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Continue to hold Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by giving the Forecast Monkey amphetamine pills (speed) , and measuring how long he stayed awake.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	24 wins out of 34 attempts = 71% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	59%	N/A
	2009 YTD	28.9%	N/A
	20 days	28.9%	24.1%
	10 days	22.4%	13.5%
	5 days	-2.8%	7.4%
	1 day	6.60%	1.46%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

BUY LONG at 1/29/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Sell any other holdings and buy Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by rubbing ten pieces of bubble gum into the Forecast Monkey's hair and carefully measuring the time it took him to get rid of it all.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	23 wins out of 33 attempts = 70% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	49%	N/A
	2009 YTD	20.9%	N/A
	20 days	25.8%	23.7%
	10 days	22.4%	13.1%
	5 days	-6.1%	7.8%
	1 day	-6.72%	1.30%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.

BUY LONG at 1/22/2009 close

For the 24-hour period beginning 12:50 PM PST, Forecast Monkey says BUY the S&P500 (Sell any other holdings and buy Ultrabull fund or SSO shares).

Today's prediction was reached by observing the Forecast Monkey's artistic creations after giving him a can of spray paint and letting him loose in a racquetball court.

Statistics for the Forecast Monkey's predictions through the last market close:

	21 wins out of 28 attempts = 75% success rate
	Timespan	Return	Average
	Total	59%	N/A
	2009 YTD	28.8%	N/A
	20 days	35.4%	18.2%
	10 days	38.4%	8.5%
	5 days	30.4%	6.1%
	1 day	8.84%	1.75%

I beg of you not to use this silly forecast in real-life trading. These predictions are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.